When it feels so right but known as so wrong
by EverythingJelly
Summary: So this picks up from when Tilly saw Jen with Diane and realised she was about to become her new teacher. This is my first ever fanfic so I apologise in advance for any mistakes and please do leave a comment! Thankyou x
1. Chapter 1

what? How? Why? Tilly sat in her bedroom going over and over everything that had just happened and what was about to happen. Today had been so perfect she'd met a beautiful woman and had spent the whole day at the beach and despite them not exactly knowing each other and despite her criticising her art work the day couldn't have gone better. And the kiss? The kiss was everything she could of imagined,it was just like in the movies! For a moment Tilly forgot all about the fact that this women was actually about to become her teacher,she didn't want to think about that right now she'd never been the type to get attached,yes she'd had girlfriends but never anything serious she was way to tied up in her course work,but this? She knew that this time was different,it was special.

*BEEEEEEEEP* Jens alarm went off but jen was already awake and she had been for some time,sleep? How could she sleep when all she thought and wanted was Tilly! she smiled as she got up to begin her day. everything had seemed so perfect she'd met a beautiful girl who even though they didn't know each other that much she felt she was perfect and she'd finally gotten a job as a teacher which was something she'd wanted and worked hard for so much. For the first time in a while Jen felt everything was amazing in her life. She promised herself that nothing was about to ruin that.

Jen was ready for her first day at her new job and was extremely early so decided to check the village out before college,she made her way outside and was taken back by how hot it was for it only being 6am. She praised herself for putting her light blue dress on and giving the tights a miss! Once she'd gotten some directions to the nearest coffee shop which lucky enough for her wasn't far from the womens house who'd kindly taken Jen on as a lodger,her name was dianne. Buying a coffee Jen sat at a table and looked through her books when something crossed her mind or rather not something but someone ... Tilly! "Should I text her or not? Maybe she's busy at uni? Or maybe she just doesn't want to text me? NO Jen don't over think this,just play it cool and text her" Jen had always thought too much into things but not this time. 'Hey you,so is it bad that its the first day of my new job and for some reason I can't seem to get this beautiful red head out of my head? X' she hesitated on sending the kiss or not but then reassured herself that it was only a kiss and it wasn't as if they hadn't shared one already.  
*bleep bleep* 'who could that be' Tilly thought to herself as she picked her phone up and opened the text,a huge smile bleemed across Tilly's face and she realised it was from Jen,thinking over and over again on what to reply back saying she wondered if she should even text her? How am I even going to dodge her today! She'll find out and then hate me we'll be over before we've even begun! Despite Tilly's hesitation half hour later she couldn't resist texting her back "hey yourself well that depends? Is that a bad thing;) x'  
Tilly heart was racing as she sent it she instantly regretted it and wished she'd asked to see her before she started work so she'd have a chance to explain herself after all she couldn't exactly hide from her forever especially now that Jen was going to become her new teacher.

Jen had made her way into her new class room and began to set up her things and simply take in the fact that this was going to be the start of what she thought was an amazing new life,it hadn't fully sunk in that she'd finally gotten the career she'd always wanted! Her jaw began to ache with how much non stop smiling she was doing. It had totally slipped her mind that she'd text Tilly pulling out her phone and smiling while reading her text she checked the time to make sure she wasn't to expect her class room to be full of students anytime soon before she rang Tilly.  
'Oh no,I can't? I can't answer the phone and talk as if I know nothing but then what if she thinks I'm being mean and not answering? Well I'm not oh no quick before it cuts out!' Tilly was panicking as she saw who was ringing her swallowing hard she answered the phone.

"Oh hey" after the phone had been ringing a while and Jen contemplating on putting the phone down or not and now Tilly answering sounding a little nervous she questioned weather it was too soon "hi um too soon to be ringing? Sorry" "no,no! I'm just on my way to the shops and wasn't expecting my phone to ring,how are you" 'phew!' Jen thought,"oh that's good then,hey shouldn't you be in uni?" Luckily Jen began to speak before Tilly could reply which she would of had to lie and she didn't think she could do that "naughty,so I was thinking if maybe you aren't doing anything later and you have a free period want to catch some lunch or have a drink?" Drink?! I'm not even old enough to be served but she couldn't exactly tell Jen that! "Uh sure sounds lovely where do you want to meet?" "Well there's a coffee shop not far from my works and I don't think its too far from your uni? If you want to meet there,its up to you" Tilly was well aware of where this shop was in actually fact she was heading that way now! "Sure I know where that is,see you there!" "Ok its a date!"

Both Jen and Tillys hearts where beating extremely fast. Jen checked the time and with 10 minutes to spare before her first class she freshened up and set books out ready for her student. Before she knew it a group of teenagers where heading through the door all shouting and messing about and she heard a few boys talking about her and saying things like "check her out,quite hot for a teacher ya know" Jen rolled her eyes before telling the class to take there seats and she began to teach she felt a bit nervous but quickly got into the routine and before she knew it she was a natural! Walking around checking everybody was working well and helping those who needed it she over heard a conversation of two boys and two girls at the back of the class,a boy whom dressed well for being a boy and wore bright colours and had very nicely styled hair was talking rather loudly to a skinny tall blonde girl who also took effort in her appearance Jen heard the boy say "ye I think tills would like her you know? She's quite the catch" "suppose she's hot,I get little miss Tilly Evans to check her out after class" Jens heart thudded Tilly? Well it can't be my Tilly she's in uni but what if she has college friends? Oh god she might and that'd be awkward! Brushing it off Jen carried on teaching the class.

Once the lesson was over Jen praised herself as to her this day couldn't have gotten any better smiling to herself she prepared for her next lesson.  
"Hey Tills! you wanna check out the new student teacher pretty hot even if I do say so myself" Maddie was pulling at Tillys arm and ushering her over to the door,once Tilly looked in the class her heart fell she'd totally forgotten all about meeting/kissing Jen and that she was her new teacher she'd been so caught up in social studies she let it slip her mind! Quickly pulling away from the door and hoping Jen hadn't seen her she rushed down the corridor leaving Maddie stood outside the door. The blonde was taken back by Tilly sudden change in expressions and hurried off to find her and see what had just happened,as she rushed down the corridor luckily for her Tilly was only around the corner with her hand upon her heart breathing heavily "babe! What's wrong?! Are you ok?!" "Uh uh umm ye of course um I've got to go quick" Maddie was completely confused and wanted to know why her bestfriend had acted so crazy! "No,misses Evans tell me what's up?" Tilly's mind was desperately trying to think of an excuse to tell her bestfriend "uh its just well that teacher she is totally hot and I don't want her to see me looking like this do I?" Tilly put on a fake smile and had possibly just told the worst lie ever and didn't expect Mads to believe a word of it!. A little suspicious but not thinking Tilly would lie to her she brushed it off and linked arms with Tilly "you my ginger lesbian are crazy! Come on let's go to break" with a reassured Tilly both girls left to go and meet the others for break.  
The day had been a success for both Tilly and Jen,Tilly had managed to go through the day without being spotted and caught out by Jen and Jen deemed the day a success as each class had gone smoothly and now she was about to go and meet a beautiful ginger! Quickly texting Tilly to tell her she was almost at the coffee shop Tilly thought of a lie to tell her friends so she could leave them and make her way to meet Jen. "Nearly there too x". Walking into the coffee shop Tilly searched for Jen and once she found her she hurried o er to sit with her,Jen was bleeming she'd waiting all day to see Tilly and the first thing she wanted to do was kiss her but she didn't want to incase it was too soon so instead she stood up to greet the beautiful ginger and they exchanged a hug.

"Its great to see you again! Shall we order?" Tilly wasn't feeling like eating much because she'd felt so worried all day "sure,I think I'll just have a salad" Jen ordered pasta and both women sat waiting for their food,there wasn't much conversation and it began to feel abit awkward so Jen decided to break the silence and bring up what she'd heard the students talking about before but Tilly broke the silence before her. "So how was your first day?" "It was great actually,a lot of the students are nice and" Jen began to laugh and feel abit it embarrassed Tilly could sense this and thought it was cute "and?" Tilly asked with a cheeky grin,"Well I had a few compliments off some of the student too" "compliments? Like?" Tilly asked intrigued "oh well I heard a few saying I was 'hot'" "oh" Tilly laughed "kids ay" kids? Tilly thought is this how Jen would see me if I told her the truth? She'd probably laugh at me and then walk out! "Oh that reminds me,what's your last night" "my last name? Uh evans,why?" EVANS jen shouted in her head this MUST have been the girl her students where on about,just as Jen was about to question Tilly the food came and Tilly tried to change the subject "the food looks lovely!" "Uh ye,Tilly do you have friends at hollyoaks sixth form" Tilly's heart dropped had she seen her at the door early? No surely not? "Um no,this salad is really nice! Is yours nice?" Jen was confused if she didn't know them then why where they talking about her? It was obviously her and why was she trying to change the subject,she needed to get to the bottom of this! "Tilly is there anything you want to tell me" oh my god oh my god,she knows! I have to come clean Tilly began to sweat and have hot flushes "look Jen I lied" lied? What was she on about "lied? Tilly what?" "Well I didn't lie I just let you believe something that wasn't true" "Tilly tell me what you're on about?!" Jens tone had changed and she seemed a lot more annoyed "look,I don't go to university i-i-i well go to the college that you teach at"...


	2. Chapter 2

"TILLY! you're kidding me right?!" "no jen I'm so sorry please hear me out" at this point Jen was too annoyed to stay and listen to anymore of this and began to get up collect her belongings and storm out,Tilly ran after her and pulled her arm "NO get off me! You let me believe you where at university? How could you be so cruel! Are you actually that stupid to not realise that nothing can happen between us with me working at your college!" Tilly was taken back at how mean Jen was being she didn't expect her to act like this? "Jen look,I'm 17 you only have me for one period" Jen started to laugh but in a mocking way "you really are a kid aren't you? Tilly how could you be so naive! As for me teaching you? Are you actually seriously expecting this to work! Delete my number and don't you dare contact me again!" Tilly's eyes filled with tears and she stood motionless how could she be so mean? "Jen please I'm sorry ok" Jen tugged her arm out of Tillys grip and looked Tilly up and down "you're a kid Tilly,nothing more now stay away from me" Jen realised that she was being horrible to Tilly and maybe this wasn't the way to go about it but she couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth so decided to leave before she could say anything else.

Tilly stood outside the coffee shopping allowing her tears to stream down her face,Jens words had stung her more than she could ever imagine taking a deep breath Tilly made her way home,she felt sick and needed to go home and lie down in order to take in everything that had just happened.

Jen ran through her door causing Dianne to jump "luv are you aright?!" "Uh uh yea I'm going upstairs for a lie down,feeling abit ill" "ok en luv if ya need me just call" "thanks" Jen practically ran into her bedroom and onto her bed where she cried more than she'd ever cried before,she remembered all the hurtful things she'd said to Tilly and began to beat herself up inside for being so cruel,even though she'd only knew Tilly a few days she felt she loved her? Love? No jennifer this is stupid she's your student and a kid! You don't love her you where just fond of her she thought to herself,after a good hour of crying and beating herself up inside she had exhausded herself so much that she fell asleep,still dressed.

Tilly however was feeling like a deflated balloon,going over and over everything Jen had said to her she knew everything Jen had said was right but she never expected it to hurt so much? After all she'd only known her a few days why did it hurt so much? She didn't lov- no Tilly of course you don't 'love' Tilly allowed herslef to say the word,a word she never thought she'd say! No of course I don't love her Tilly told herself,just as Jen did Tilly had exausted herself and fell asleep also,still dressed.

It was morning. Tilly woke happy,happy for a split second until she remembered everything and the pain came flooding back. Jen,jen,jen,jen was all she could think and having to see jen in college! she hated that thought. Eventually she managed to drag herself out of bed and have a shower to begin to get ready for college.

Jen had awoke during the night and had a shower and change of clothes by 5am she was dress and ready for college she couldn't sleep because her thoughts revolved around the beautiful red head,her big blue eyes and big red lips that she longed to kiss and... 'no' Jen thought to herself as she shook her head in an attempt to rid all thoughts of Tilly. She couldn't and wouldn't allow herself! Jen sighed loudly as she pulled herself out of bed to prepare her work stuff.

'Hey Tills,want to grab a coffee before heading to college? My treat' George asked Tilly as enthusiastic as he always is in the mornings,the walk to college was long,very long longer than usually. All Tilly could thing about was jen and how beautiful she was and how much she wanted to kiss her but instead she had to listen to george talk and talk about his and Ryans perfect relationship and how in love they where. Even though tilly loved George,she loved all her friends its just the last thing she wanted was to hear about how perfect somebody else's relationship was when all she wanted was Jen!. Tilly saw Maddie at the gates and took this as an opportunity to get away from the soppy talk from george. Her and Maddie instantly got into a full blown conversation.

Tilly wanted so much to tell her bestfriend about everything that had happened but she knew Maddie would be annoyed at the way Jen had treated her so decided the best thing would be to keep it to herself but this was becoming trickier than she had thought it would be. Her bestfriend new her all to well and knew when she was keeping something from her so as usual Maddie began to question Tilly.

"So who is it? Or should I ask what's happened?" "Um? What are you talking about Mads?" Tilly new full well what Maddie was talking about but decided to play dumb. "you've been off for a while now,like you're keeping something from me? What's on your mind ginge,come on share it with your bestie madssss" Tilly smiled she loved the way Maddie knew her so well but despite how much she loved Maddie she couldn't tell her this,not yet,not until she'd seen Jen today OH NO Tilly blurted out as she remembered she had a period with Jen today,how could she see her? After yesterday?. "Tills? Tills? Why did you randomly shout oh no?!" "Um I just remembered I have an assignment to finish by monday" Tilly hated lieing to her bestfriend but she knew she had to. "You mrs red have to let your hair down once in a while,hey seen as so its friday tonight you are coming over sineads with me and the rest of the gang! I forgot to ask you yesterday because you rushed off so soon" "oh Mads I'm not sure,I have a lot of work to do" Tilly really wasn't feeling drinking she was never the type to get drunk and hated being around drunken people. "Please Tills for me?" Maddie pouted at her ginger bestfriend,Tilly thought about it for a few seconds and decided she owed it to her for keeping secrets from her AND lieing "fine! But I'm not drinking loads and I'm not letting you lead me a stray" Tills winked at Mads "oh would I ever my fav ginger lesbiannnn"

The two linked arms and made their way to their first lesson,Tilly hoped this lesson would go extremely slow as she knew her second lesson was with Jen,she'd have to sit and listen to the women she so longed for as if it was something her life depended on,but after yesterday? Jen must really hate her and was probably going to give Tilly the silent treatment or maybe she'd told kealer? Maybe she's refusing to teach her!. First lesson was hard for Tilly to concentrate as her mind kept going over all the possibilities that where awaiting for her for second period.

*BEEEEEP* Before she knew it the bell had gone that signalled students to make their way to their second sighed and the palms of her hands began to sweat,collecting her things and books she left the class room and slowly,very slowly she made her way to Jens classroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Approaching Jens class Tilly could see groups of students making their way through the door suddenly Tilly felt like she was in quick sand and imagined herself sinking into the ground not wanting to walk any further,not wanting to face Jen but she knew she had to so pulling herself together she walked into Jens class with her head held high.

'head held high' Tilly laughed inside as as soon as she entered Jens class her head was actually looking at the floor attempting not to make ANY contact with Jen. Tilly felt as if everybody was starring like everybody knew but of course this was just Tilly's paranoia,Jen allowed herself to glance at Tilly for a few seconds before shaking her head and begging to teach,this moment couldn't have been any more awkward for both women.

A few minutes in and Jens class where all concentrating hard on their art work,Jen walking around checking everybody was ok and doing as they should be when it came to check Tilly she skipped her. This hadn't gone un missed by Tilly whom was feeling hurt. "So what I lied it was nothing major! She can't ignore me forever if she's going to be my teacher!" Tilly kept thinking this over and over again and the more she did her body language started to portray exactly how she felt inside. Allowing her work to get messy as she violently dabbed the paint brush. Jen noticed and decided to confront Tilly after all she was the teacher.

"slowly,not so much aggression,this is a wonderful artwork" Jen had gone behind Tilly and taken over her paint brush with it still being in Tillys hand. Tilly jumped at the sudden touch and voice of someone behind,when she realised who it was her hand became sweaty and butterflies formed in her stomach! "Uh thanks". Jen was allowing herself to be near Tilly and touch her,it felt so right like this is how it should be. Both women where now at ease with each other while painting,Jen came to her senses and realised how she was being with Tilly! This wasn't how a student and teacher should act! Snapping out of it and letting go of Tilly's paint brush Jen made her way back to her desk.

Tilly was feeling shocked,the way Jen had been with her just then? It felt like they day at the beach,they where both so relaxed in each others company like they'd known each other all their life! But then Jen stopped,pulled herself away. It was obvious why Jen had gone so cold on her with her being her teacher? But why did she have to create such sparks just let? Touching my hand and whispering in my ear? What is she trying to do to me! Tilly was completely confused and so was Jen,trying to regain her teacher like form Jen couldn't help wonder how she'd let herself do that! In a room full of students too! Was she stupid!.

The bell rand for students to make their way out for break Tilly sighed a sigh of relief as she began to grab all of her stuff and get out of Jens class as quickly as possibly! Almost at the door she heard a very shy,quiet voice calling her back "Tilly,please could you stay a moment" Turning around to see Jen stood by her desk and the room empty of anybody else Tilly walked over to stand by Jen and await to hear what she had to say.

"Look Tilly,yesterday ... i-i was out of order,I shouldn't have spoken to you the way I did and I shouldn't have said such horrible words to you and I know and..." Jen was talking way to loud for Tilly to hear and she couldn't make any sense of what she was saying but sensed Jen was apologising for yesterday. "Jen stop,I know what I did was wrong and its fine I forgive you,I deserved everything you said" Tilly smiled at the teacher to reassure her she wasn't mad,mad? How could she be mad at such a beautiful woman like jen! "And Tilly I'm sorry about earlier... With your painting" "its fine you where only helping a student I get it" Tilly smirked at Jen and both women started to ease and feel relaxed in each other company "well it did look like you where trying to murder your painting" "hey cheeky! I prefer to call it leonardo da vinci on a bad day OK" both woman laugh at Tillys response totally loosing the teacher student relationship and begging to feel more like... Like well friends! "Tilly,you're so mature for your age! Nothing like the students I teach and I'd love it if well we could be friends?" Friends? What does she mean by friends? Like hang out? Tilly had all these questions going through her mind but none of them she wanted to actually ask Jen so deciding to play it cool Tilly replied "sure,I'd really like that miss" "call me Jen well when we aren't in class that is!" Tilly smiled "thanks Jen". Both women sit down at Jens tesk Tilly deciding to spend her break with her new 'friend' that being Jen. "So any plans for tonight" "well sineads offered me and the gang around hers for a drink,yourself" "oh nice! Nothing really just staying in,oh wait you mean sinead o'connor?" "Uh huh why?" Jens smiled she lived with sinead which meant that tonight she'd get to see Tilly! "I live with her,hey I'll see you tonight then!" Tilly also smiled,she didn't forget that Jen lived there but was trying to play It 'cool' "oh yes! That'll be nice" both women looking at each other and smiling,sparks began to build up again *BEEEEEP* saved by the bell for next period Jen smiled at Tilly as Tilly got up to leave "so I'll see you tonight" "look forward to it".

Tilly was beaming as she made her way to her next period! Today had been perfect and she loved the fact that her and Jen where now friends and that she'd be seeing her at sineads tonight!. Jen was feeling exactly the same after all what harm could come to just being friends? Just friends Jen told herself.

Jen packed her bag with books ready to mark over the weekend and headed out of her class,locking the door she bumped into mr keeler "Hey jen! So how have the past few days gone for you?" "Oh hi! Yes every things gone really well" Jen by now was feeling a bit nervous,it wasn't as if she'd done anything wrong really? It not like she was having a love affair with her pupil,shrugging it off and smile Jen and mr Keeler began a full blown conversation that lasted a few minutes,the conversation was just about how Jen was settling in and if she ever needed any help to come to his office then mr kealer asked Jen something that shocked her completely!  
"So Jen,if maybe you aren't doing anything tonight um would you let me take you out? For a drink and food?" Surprised and Mr Keeler offer Jen responded "oh um I-i-i-have a lot of books to mark sorry" feeling rather rejected Mr keeler tried one more time "what about tomorrow night?" Is he not getting the hint?! jen thought to herself  
"Is there any work you need to talk about or?" "Well I was thinking it could be more of a well date?" Jen was almost choking by now "that's a really nice of but um well you're not really my um you know type" winking and nudging Mr Keeler Jen hoped he really had gotten the hint by now and she didn't have to spell it out for him! "OH right! I'm sorry well uh if ever you want a drink as friends let me know" it couldn't have been a more awkward conversation for both of them! Quickly Mr Keeler left Jen outside her class,laughing to herself Jen made her way out of college and to go home.


	4. Chapter 4

Thankyou all for the great feed back on twitter and for the reviews on here! Really appreciate it!

Back at Tilly's Maddie and her where getting ready to go to sineads,not dressing up too much but both girls wanting to make effort,Maddie of course wanted to look her best for Callum and Tilly well as much as she told herself not to think that way she also wanted to make effort to try and impress Jen as she knew she'd be home tonight.

Maddie wore a very very tight black dress that came 2 inches above her knees,as revealing as it was it also showed of all the curves that Maddie had she truly looked beautiful. Tilly wore a bright red dress that also clung to all the right placed showing off her curves,the dress was about an inch above her knees but began to get longer at the back which made it just above her ankle. Both girls had some make-up,Tilly wasn't one to wear a lot of make-up and neither was Maddie,not like most of the girls at their college,their motto was less is more. Both looking absolutely outstanding left Tillys and headed to sindeads ready for a night of fun and laughs.

Jen was at home in her bedroom hesitating on what to wear,she didn't want to dress up after all who was she trying to impress? She told herself this over and over again although she knew it was Tilly she was trying to impress,deciding to wear a floral casual dress about knee length and a black pair of tights Jen made her way down stairs to sit at the table. "Hey Sinead doing much tonight?" Jen knew exactly what Sinead was doing,Sinead wasn't exactly fond of Jen with her being her teacher AND living with her. "The gang are coming round tonight,we're having a few drinks that's all and before you ask mum said we're allowed as long as we don't drink too much" Jen smiled and nodded her head agreeing she could sense Sinead wasn't in the mood to talk so she began marking some books about 5 books in there was a knock at the door and Jen began to have butterflies knowing it would be Tilly there.

Sinead opened the door welcoming Maddie,Tilly,George,Callum,Bart and Esther all four teens holding up a bottle of alcohol each and shaking it in the air "hey guys! Come in let's get this party started" 'party' Tilly quietly asked Maddie while stepping into the house Maddie squeezing Tillys arm she reassuring her that it wouldn't be anything heavy tonight "don't worry babe she's just exaggerating" Tilly had completely ignored almost everything Mads had just said because she noticed Jen sat at the table. Jen knew Tilly was starring at her so decided to give her a cheeky smile,Tilly blushed at the fact she'd been caught starring but liked the smile Jen had gave.

20 minutes into the 'party' all of the teens where starting to drink and play some music,Jen was feeling a bit odd sitting with a bunch of loud teenagers that where her students so decided to make her way upstairs to mark books instead,quickly giving Tilly one last smile she went upstairs. Tilly didn't want Jen to leave she wanted her to stay sat at the table so she could catch glances at her and take in her beauty,neverless Tilly decided to declare this night about her and her friends. Half way through the night and everybody was almost unable to walk despite Tilly saying she wouldn't drink she allowed herself too and hadn't kept an eye on how much alcohol she was actually taking in!. Sinead and Bart had fallen asleep together on the floor of the living room and Maddie was sat on the couch with Callum. George left rather early to go and catch up with Ryan before he went back to london for the weekend which just left Tilly and Esther un paired. Esther stood against the kitchen sink fidgeting with her hands and everynow and then looking at Tilly. Tilly however had consumed so much alcohol she wasn't even aware of Esther starring at her she was sat at the table with her head almost hitting it,"you look tired Tills want me to walk you home?" Tilly managed to reply after a few seconds although her word where slurred "uh n-n-opee I'm good,yup! I'm good,sit with me". There wasn't much conversation between both teens as Tilly wasn't even sure where she was.

Jen had finished her marking and checked the time gosh! 2am Jen hadn't been up this long in a while! Deciding to go downstairs and check on the teenagers as they seemed shockingly quiet. "Guys is everything ok?" Sinead had been woken up by Jen nudging her "uh ye god Jen every things fine" Jen rolling her eyes at how rude Sinead was being made her way to the sink for a glass of water while noticing a rather drunken Tilly sat next to an also rather drunken Esther "everything ok girls" Tilly jumped and lifted her head up and looked over at Jen and gave a cheeky smirk "well we're we're we're fine miss" Tilly was in such a drunk state she was now repeating herself which amused Esther as she sat giggling "your so funny miss and quite hot you know" Esther was allowing these words to leave her mouth without any thought because of how drunk she was,Tilly didn't like her complementing Jen like that so decided to but in before she could say anything else "esther est no nope that's my Jen and you Jen?" Jen was completely shocked at the way the teenagers where acting given the fact they seemed the most mature,deciding not to get into anything with both of the girls in case Tilly said anything else! Jen made her way to the stairs with her glass of water. Luckily Esther hadn't listened to anything Tilly had said and by now was almost asleep with her head on the table which gave Tilly the opportunity to leave everybody and make her way upstairs,to see Jen.

It took Tilly a while to make it upstairs as she fell a few times,walking to Jens room and knocking but not waiting for a response Tilly barged through the door and almost fell on Jens bed which Jen was sat on reading a book. "TILLY! What are you doing here" "don't don't um worry because noone saw me cheeky" Tilly was oblivious to how she was acting and what she was saying "Tilly I want you to leave,go with your friends please" "but but I don't want to i-i-i want you" Tilly pouted and leaned in to place her lips on Jen and pressing hard,Jen was shocked but at the same time was liking the kiss and began to let her self relax kissing Tilly back before remembering what was happening Jen pushed Tilly off her "no Tilly leave please" Tilly felt like a little child who's mum had told her she couldn't have what she wanted at the shops and she was also acting like it "Jen I love love you and I want to make love to you" Jen couldn't believe what she was hearing she knew Tilly was drunk but she also believed in the saying 'a drunken mind speaks a sober heart' Jen took Tilly by her hand and ushered her to leave "please Tilly go" Tilly stepped outside of Jens room and Jen shut the door behind her.

Tilly stood in a drunken mess crying and then ran downstairs past the teens who hadn't noticed her anyway and out into the dark streets alone to make her way home. Jen sat on her bed with her hand upon her heart the kiss? That kiss again felt so right and she wanted Tilly as much as she wanted her! A tear ran down Jens face.

Maddie noticed Tilly was missing and remembered seeing her going upstairs and thought she'd had gone to the toilet so decided to go and check on her to see if everything was ok. Checking the bathroom and seeing no Tilly Maddie knocked on Jens door to see if she'd seen her,Jen made her way to the door taking a deep breath expecting to see Tilly again Jen was surprised to see Maddie "is everything ok?" "Ye but have you seen Tills? I saw her come up here but now I'm not sure where she's gone" "isn't she downstairs?" "Nope,oh well she must have left" Maddie was also drunk and wasn't seeing the dangers of Tilly leaving at gone 2am in the dark on her own,Jen felt sick with worry what if something happens to her? It'll be my fault! Jen decided the best thing to do would to go and look for her,putting her shoes on and a coat Jen let the house. Half way down the street she can see the outline of a very petite girl stumbling all over the street,running up behind Tilly Jen took a hold of the teens hand,Tilly jumped but when realising it was Jen she pulled her hand away "Tilly let me take you home,where to is your house?" "Only down the um um uh road,I'll be fine" "no you won't Tilly you're way to drunk to go home on your own let me take you,come on".

During the walk home both women didn't speak all that took place was Jen helping Tilly from not falling on the floor. Approaching Tilly's house Jen helped Tilly put her keys in the door,the sound of the door opening awoke Tilly's parents who rushed to the door as they heard stumbling and voices "Tilly love what's wrong" Tilly's Mum and Dad took ahold of Tilly so she didn't fall allowing Jen to let go of the teen "she's fine Mrs and Mr Evans just perhaps a bit drunk so I decided to bring her home myself,I'm Jen" Mr Evens took Tilly inside the house and Mrs Evans spoke with Jen "thankyou so much for bringing her home,I had no idea she was drinking,I've never seen her like this before" "its fine honestly it was no trouble" Jen shook Mrs Evans hand and left the door as Mrs Evans shut it.

Jen walked down Tillys path and reached her gate putting her head in her hand while sighing and saying quietly to herself 'friends hey jen? What a mess this is all turning out to be'..


	5. Chapter 5

It was saturday morning and Tilly was feeling the full effect of drinking so much the night before,her head was aching and felt way to heavy for her body,her eyes where blood shot and her face was so pale she was almost see through. Pulling herself together and putting her dressing gown on she made her way downstairs where she was greeted by her parents that weren't all too happy.

"Morning Mum,morning Dad" "oh so you're finally up are you? Its 12pm Tilly,your dad and I need to speak to you sit down at the table" Tilly was in no state to listen to her parents shouting at her but sat down with her head to the floor like a naughty puppy. "You young lady went out drinking yesterday! So drunk in fact your teacher her to bring you home! Your mother and I are appalled and are taking away your phone,laptop and you're grounded for the weekend" Tilly hadn't listened to anything her Dad had been saying once he said about her teacher bring her home,Tilly had flash backs about last night and remembered everything! Oh no no no Tilly thought to herself,she remembered kissing Jen and then Jen having to take her home! Silly Tilly,you're suppose to be showing her you're a mature women yet you go and act like that! "Tilly are you even listening!" No,of course Tilly wasn't how could she? All she could think about was how stupid she'd been the night before "uh ye sorry Dad" "well hand over your phone and laptop and then I want you to spend this weekend revising".

Tilly did as she was told and made her way to her room to 'revise' which actually meant sit and wish the ground would swallow her up for how she'd acted!. I'll have to text her and ask her to meet me,explain that this isn't how I usually me,going to grab her phone Tilly remembered her Dad had taken it off her and for the entire weekend she was a prisoner in her own home. Throwing herself onto her bed Tilly buried her head into her pillows.

Jen woke up at 8am and had gone for an early run,leaving her phone at home. When Jen came back to Dianes she had expected a missed call or text from Tilly but nothing,Jen wondered why and then realised Tillys age and the fact that she wasn't even old enough to drink and if that'd been Jen her parents would have grounded her for life. Forgetting Tillys age was something Jen did a lot after all she was so mature? Well last night she might have shown her true age but surely everybody acts a little immature when drunk?. Jen gathered she probably wouldn't see Tilly till monday and decided they'd talk then but for the weekend she was going to attempt to forget about it all and just focus on what she had came to Hollyoaks for and that was to teach. To pursue her long hard work to have the career she has today.

Sinead wasn't feeling any better than Tilly and after lastnight Tills parents had contacted Diane and told her of the state that Tilly was in and suspected that the other teen had been in the same state as Tilly. Diane was furious with Sinead as she told her they could have a little drink not drink their body weight in alcohol,Sinead was also grounded and had her things confiscated. "Ya suppose to be spending ya time revising ya going to uni soon but wat do you do? Ya drink ya self silly" Sinead was sat at the kitchen table with Jen while laying her head on the table. "If it wasn't for Jen being ere lastnight god knows wat would ov appened to poor old Tills,why didn't ya see her leave in such a state?" "Aw mum shut up will ya! I thought she left with george didn't I" "well I think ya should thank Jen for escorting ya friend ome!" "God! Fanx Jen" Jen wasn't feeling Sinead actually meant it but knew the teen wasn't her biggest fan so laughing to herself she turned to Diane. "Honestly I was fine with taking Tilly home" "I don't know what got into em lastnight,fanx Jen ya know I really appreciate it" Jen was feeling like the hero of the story but really it was her fault Tilly had stormed out late on her own,but this wasn't something she was going to tell Diane.

The weekend had gone slow for both women,if Tilly wasn't revising then she was either doing tures around the house or sulking over Jen. The thought of monday seemed horrible for Tilly she wanted and needed to see Jen but how could she face her after acting such a child?. Jen's weekend hadn't gone much better than Tilly's and between working on some art projects she also was sulking over Tilly and desperately wanting to receive some kind of contact with her.

Sunday night came and both women where dreading Monday 1st period was when Jen had Tilly and she wasn't sure how this was going to go,she really felt Tilly was well the one,she felt it was love and first sight! Despite feeling this way she never actually allowed herself to fully admit it. Tilly felt exactly the same about Jen only Tilly was young,even though she was mature she was still young and naive she allowed herself to admit her feeling's and fully admit that the truth was the whole 'friend' thing wasn't working out and she loved Jen. The word love felt weird for Tilly to admit,especially given the circumstances but she couldn't help who she fell for? She couldn't help the fact that even though it was knows as so wrong it felt so right. Tilly knew Jen probably didn't feel the same,she never showed any kind of loving emotion towards Tilly.

Tilly decided to pick an outfit for monday,something elegant and mature to show Jen she wasn't just a typical teenager,she went with her deep purple high neck top that had lace around the neck,a denim fur coat,blue jeans that tightly showed of her bum and elegant wedges. She wanted and even needed to show Jen that she wasn't the teenager she'd acted like friday night.


	6. Chapter 6

Monday morning came and for the first time Jen had actually had a good nights sleep and was up,dressed and out of Dianes by 7am heading towards the coffee Tilly hadn't had a good sleep lastnight,in actual fact she hadn't slept properly since she met Jen. Getting showered and dressed Tilly headed downstairs where she was allowed to have her phone back,turning it on she didn't have many text only a few from Maddie as most of her friends had their phones taken off them. Tilly left her house and was of to meet George and no doubt he'd be talking about his and Ryans relationship which again wasn't what Tilly wanted to hear.

Jen payed cindy for her coffee and thanked her as she headed out clutching her yellow satchel bag. Tilly and George made way for the coffee shop as they where meeting the rest of the gang,approaching everybody they all felt as if they'd not spoken to each other for months! Tilly was cheered by the group as it was the first time she'd been properly drunk and the gang liked this side to her!. Just then Jen came out of the coffee shop and spotted the teens,Maddie spotted Jen and ushered everybody over to her to thank her for taking Tilly home. The group all bombarded Jen and Jen looked at a very shy embarrassed Tilly. "Miss! We all want to say thankyou for taking out naughty Tills home lastnight don't we" Maddie said nudging Tilly,Tilly didn't want to speak not like this,she wanted to see Jen alone and to talk about things but now she had to speak to her otherwise she'd seem rude and everyone would be suspicious. Finally lifting her head up from look at the ground and making eye contact with Jen Tilly nervously thanked her. "Ye um thanks miss" Jen looked at Tilly wanted to hug her and tell her it was alright but know that this was a massive no.

Jen and the teens where talking about lastnight and how mental it had been and asking Jen if she was settling in well Jen really didn't want to be talking to them,she felt so awkward but at the same time thought it was nice that they where asking how she was. Throughout the extremely awkward talk Tilly didn't even make eye contact with Jen,she couldn't bring herself to look the woman she loved so much in the eyes,she felt if she did she'd crumble to the floor.

Jen felt physically sick after that,she headed to her car and shut the door tight after her and led her head on the car wheel 'what a complete mess' she whispered to herself. She wanted nothing more than to grab Tillys face with both hands and kiss her soft plumped lips although she knew she couldn't of course she couldn't! She was suppose to be the mature adult in all of this but she couldn't help let her mind think of other things and just how nice Tilly had looked today,how elegant and mature she looked.

Walking through the college gates Tilly felt sick she couldn't face Jen,she physically and mentally just couldn't do it!. "Tills come on we have artttt" Maddie was tugging on Tillys arm but Tilly didn't want to go with her instead decided she'd go to see her social studies teacher for some extra work,anything to stop her from going to 1st period and having to see Jen. "Uh Mads I just have to grab some work off my social studies teacher,I'll see you in art" Maddie sighed and headed to 1st period alone. Tilly also sighed but a sigh of relieve as she'd managed to get out of seeing Jen.

Heading to her social studies teachers class Tilly knocks on the door,Tillys social studies teacher shouted for her to come in. The teacher was old,Tilly guessed she was well into her 70's she was small and wore grey skirts everyday and a black top her hair was short and also matched the colour of her skirt,Tilly loved her social studies (Mrs Reed) she thought she was sweet and reminded her of her nan. Walking through the door Mrs Reed smiled realising it was Tilly "are you ok love? Any problems with your work" "uh not really,well I was wondering seen as so I had a free period maybe I could spend it here? Make sure I'm up to date with all my work?" Tilly felt ashamed for lieing,this teacher was one of her favourites. "Of course hun,take a seat next to me! You can keep me company while you're here" Tilly did as she was asked and took a seat next to Mrs reed.

There wasn't much talk,Tilly was checking her work even though she knew it was all up to date and was fine. Mrs Reed sensed something wasn't right. "Tilly love is there anything on your mind? Your not getting bullied are you?" Tilly smiled she liked how caring she was,"oh no! I'm fine honest,thanks though" not believing a word of it the old teacher carried on questioning. "So if everything fine then why are you sat with an old women like me? You know your work is fine,is it? You know girls troubles?" This question took Tilly by surprise girls troubles? Was she referring to her being gay? How did she even know?! "Uh uh um? Um" the old teacher laughed at how embarrassed Tilly was "you know I have heard your friend maddie is it? Well I heard her calling you a lesbian before" "oh um well yes really" a defeated Tilly was willing to tell this teacher everything,to confide in her but how could she? With Jen being a teacher at the school. "Come on tell aunt Reed" both women laugh,Tilly trusted Mrs Reed and decided to tell her,not everything but just some things..

"Well I've met a girl,she's a bit older than me and as silly as it sounds I think I'm in love with her but I don't think she feels the same way" the old teacher just nodded signalling Tilly to go on. "It'd be hard for us to be together,with the age difference and stuff,I acted stupid towards her and now I'm scared she might hate me and any chances with even had they'd just be gone" it felt like a massive weight had been lifted off Tillys shoulders after confiding in someone. Tilly carried on talking and talking telling the old teacher of their frist day and how perfect it'd been and then how her entire world had fell apart. Tilly's eyes began to water so Mrs Reed gave her a box of tissues,the old teacher really felt for her she knew what it felt to have your heart broken and she knew how it felt to not know what to do for the best.

"Look Tilly love,this women she seems like everything you've ever wanted even if you hadn't realised it before,but it seems like its hard for you both,you have to give her time give her space let her clear her head. Love is a funny thing and people show it in different ways but there is one thing love has a habit of doing and that's connecting eachother,no matter how big the circumstances are. Love is like life,its a mystery nobody knows fully what it is or what makes us fall in love but we do and trying not to love someone when you know you truly do well then that only makes you love them more. My advice to you Tilly is take each day as if its the last because you never know what's going to happen,if you love this women then tell her! Don't keep your feelings locked up,speak to her promise me?" Tilly by now was gob smacked this women spoke so much sense,I guess its true what they say 'with age comes wisdom'. Tilly felt better,much better she felt like everything for once was begging to make sense! She did love Jen. "Mrs Reed I don't know what to say,you're an amazing women" Tilly got up of her seat and gave the old teacher a hug.

Tilly not being in first period hadn't gone a miss for Jen or the students. "Mads where's Tilly?" George wondered "She said something about getting work for social studies or something" Jen was over hearing the conversation and seen as so Jen had a free period next she decided that she'd make her was up to Tillys social studies class hoping she'd bump into her *BEEEEP* the bell went for second period and once ushering the students out of class Jen locked her door and headed to social studies.

Tilly was feeling on cloud 9 after talking to Mrs Reed,turning the corridor Tilly was met with the most beautiful face ever,it was Jen. "Tilly why weren't you at first period?" Jen was trying to act as though she was a concerned teacher but Tilly knew that this wasn't why she was asking. "I had to grab some work and accidentally lost track of time talking with Mrs Reed" Tilly was feeling confident not silly and shy like before and Jen sensed this. "Oh right ok then" "look Jen I really have to speak to you so tonight please can you meet me? Do you know where the shack is? Its near yours" "Tilly i-i don't know what if someone sees" "don't worry they won't I promise noone will be around,if you know where it is then I'll meet you there at 5ish?" Jen thought about it and realised how much her and Tilly needed to speak "ok I'll be there" Tilly smiled at Jen and Jen returned the smile,both women now heading in opposite directions.


	7. Chapter 7

It didn't take Tilly long to get ready neither did it take Jen long. Tilly walked to the shack and wasn't Surprised that she was the first there because the shack wasn't far from Tilly's,she sat and waited for Jen while looking out the broken window of the shack,she loved nature and the beauty of it and how everything was so peaceful,she thought about how easy birds had it.. No worry or stress... She wished she was a bird for a minute but then giggled to herself when she realised how stupid that was.

Jen was heading towards the shack and could hear Tilly giggling she wondered why but she just enjoyed listening to the teen giggle,she loved the sound of her giggling! 'Hey you' jen poked her head around the door of the shack. Tilly's 'giggle' faded when she saw jen and her smile went and she put her head to the floor. 'Hey' was all she said,Jen sat down next to Tilly and stared at her,looking at her face in an attempt to see what kind of emotion Tilly was feeling but it was hard because Tilly kept her head to the floor and didn't look at Jen.

Jen decided shed better break the silence.. 'How did we let it get like this' jen sighed and put her hands over her face. 'I don't know Jen,I don't know but today I realised something and that is life is too short,too short to live by every rule that we're given' Tilly spoke so confidently but still hadn't made eye contact with Jen.. 'I-i um Tilly,why won't you look at me?' Jen placed her hand on Tillys shoulder,the sudden touch of the womans hand she loved made her shudder and she felt butterflies in her stomach and that's when she decided she couldn't take it any longer she needed to look at jen,her beautiful face!. Tilly made eye contact with Jen which made Jen smile,she loved Tillys beautiful big blue eyes. 'Look Tilly,this isn't exactly how we planned it is it? But I need to tell you something,I need you to know that i-i-i-i love you,You're all that I want you're all that I've ever wanted since the day I met you!' Jen was shocked at her out burst seen as so she was never one to tell her feelings especially like that!. This shocked Tilly too,did Jen really just tell her she loved her? She gathered Jen did but to hear her say it? She knew Jen meant it,Tilly began to build up hope maybe Jen wanted a relationship? 'But...' Jen sighed. But Tilly thought? Tilly felt like a balloon that had been deflated,she allowed herself to think Jen might want her back. 'But what?' Tilly asked as her eyes filled with tears. Jen could see the hurt in Tilly's eyes. So she decided the only thing to make things feel right was to kiss her.

Jen placed her hands on Tillys face and with her thumb she wiped away her tears,she looked longinly at Tillys beautiful eyes and then her big plumped lips and kissed her. The kiss lasted for about 30 seconds,the best 30 seconds of her life.. Kissing Tilly felt right,not like other kisses shed shared with other people this was special,something shed never experienced with anybody else. Both women let go of the kiss they'd shared and stared at each other.

"Tilly,I love you and being friends doesn't work does it?" Tilly shook her head she knew none of this was going to work,no matter how hard they tried they knew they loved eachother. "And no matter how wrong it seems to other people,it feels right for me and I think it feels right to you?" Tilly began to smile 'Jen are you asking what I think you are?' "Well if you think I'm asking you to become my girlfriend? to show you I love you and how much I'm willing to risk everything to be with you because that's how much I strong I feel about you then yes I am?" Jen was beaming,she couldn't control her happiness and Tilly was feeling the same! But then Tillys smile changed..

She thought about what if Jen starts to get worried as soon as the first sign of trouble comes? And she ends it? Tilly couldn't and wouldn't allow herself to feel that much pain she knew she couldn't take the pain! "Jen no,I can't" jen felt herself break,why why whyyy? Was all she could think of but she couldn't bring herself to ask she knew if she did then shed begin to cry and knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself.. "Jen,I love you and that's why I can't take the pain,if you get scared and call it off then I couldn't take that? I couldn't take the pain" Jen felt a slight relief at least Tilly wasn't about to tell her she didn't love her back? Jen grabbed Tillys hand with hers "Tilly look,I can't lie and say everything will be perfect and I'll never get scared but I love you and you're the only one I want to be with,no matter how scared I get I promise I'll never end this,I couldn't! Please Tilly give me a chance to prove it to you?" By this point Jens eyes where filling with tears. Tilly knew Jen meant it and decided it was time to ignore the thoughts in her head and to give her heart what it wanted and that was Jen. 'Ok jen' Jen smiled,the biggest smile shed ever done "Tilly.. I love you" At this point Tilly was smilling too,she looked jen directly in her big brown eyes and replied with "i love you to"..

Both girls sit together just hugging and holding hands,this was all they needed.. It was so perfect. Then Tilly giggled as she remembered how drunk she had been friday,she was never drunk usually! Jen was puzzled and asked Tilly why she was giggleing. "Oh I just thought about friday night,I'm sorry again" jen laughed she loved how innocent Tilly was "its fine! Honestly!" "But I feel so bad" Jen laughed more 'mrs Red its fine,seriously let's forget it!' Tilly smiled and kissed Jens cheek. Tilly loved it when Jen called her 'mrs red' it was sweet.

Time had gone by very quick and before they knew it it was 9pm! "Right mrs red we better leave or else we aren't getting up for college tomorrow!" Jen smiled at Tilly and they both got up off the setty in the shack and made their way home whilst holding hands,they didn't fear getting caught because it was quite late and nobody would be out'.

Jen walked Tilly near her home,she would of loved to walk her to her door but it was way to risky with her parents being home,Jen leaned into kiss Tillys lips and while doing so they where both still holding hands. Tilly turned to walk to her house and looked back at Jen,"llove you my beautiful girlfriend and I shall see you tomorrow" Jen felt herself blush she loved Tilly referring to herself as her girlfriend! "I love you too mrs Red and you shall indeed". Tilly smirked and so did jen. This time Tilly knew they where for real. Both girls where so happy! This was the first day of the happy days ahead of them. And they both loved that thought.

Jen couldn't contain her happiness! She was so certain that Tilly was the one and that she wanted and needed to be with her forever. Jen tried to hide her sudden change of mood by the time she got home because she knew Dianne would question her like she always does but Jen wasn't going to let her kill her mood so as soon as she got home she headed straight to the stairs to go to her bedroom. "Ay love I've made some dinner if ya want it?" "Oh thanks Dianne but I've already eaten" Jen was lying but she really wasn't in the mood to sit and eat with Dianne especially as she saw Sinead sat glaring at her on the table. "Oh ya sure love?" "Yep thankyou though" Jen tried to hurry upstairs but her dramatic change of mood hadn't gone unrecognised. "Ay you ow come your so happy?" Diane was questioning Jen like she always did as if Jen was her child and Diane hadn't realised Jen was in actual fact 25 and not even related to her. "Ummm well I'm just feeling very happy today" And with that Jen practically ran upstairs to bed.

Once Jen was in her room she threw her bag onto her bed and shut the door tight behind her whilst sighing loudly while her sigh was interupted by *bleep* Jen smiled instantly because she knew that sound was the sound of a text which she hoped was her mrs red! And of course it was 'Hey mrs sexy ;) hope you got home ok? I'm just led here thinking of you ;) what you up to then?' Jen grinned,she loved how Tilly called her sexy and sent her winking faces. 'Hey mrs red;) just got up to my room,had to dodge a few questions from Diane!Xx' *BLEEP* 'oh no! Hope you're ok? Doing much tomorrow? Fancying I don't know... Getting out?;) just us... Xx' Jen grinned again but this time it was a suductive smile as she and Tilly hadn't been intimate before,and maybe this was the time? But she wasn't going to ask Tilly and decided if Tilly wanted to then she'd bring it up 'mrs red;) I'm not doing anything! Pick you up near yours at um let's say 7ish?Xx' 'that is perfect my beautiful girlfriend xxx'.

Both women went to bed that night not only happy but excited,excited for what was about to become of their relationship the ups the downs whatever was about to happen they'd face it together,as a couple because that's what couples do. They're there for each other no matter what because as relationships develops so does the love they share for each other and nobody or anything can brake that,it is unbreakable.


End file.
